We have the solution!

Don't be embarrassed. It's okay. We know how you feel. But we have a solution!

Take those bottom-of-the-pocket linty old washing machine dollars and that lifesaver-sticky bottom-of-the-purse loose change to the bank and then you can REALLY show your dedication to making us RICH by sending your check or money order to GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS! Won't you be the envy of your friends, who haven't yet sent their hard earned cash to us here at GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS!?

But of course, you are always welcome to send cash - but be sure you disguise it well! While 99.995% of our government's hardworking US Postal Employees are honest and dedicated people, we don't want to tempt that sleazy, shifty-eyed temporary hire with the strange limp and the oversized pockets full of randomly snagged social security checks by sending lots of cash through the mails, now do we? Let him get his own website and ask people to GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS!

Aw, what the heck. Let him have his share of the undeserved pie. You go right on and mail that cash! We'll make it a challenge to see how much gets through!

Send your cash, checks and money orders to:

Mrs. S
P.O. Box 215
Manassas, Virginia 20108
USA

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