New Workplace Definitions from Give Us Five Dollars.com

Hey, before you get caught up in this hilarious list we swiped from one of those obnoxious "Fwd:Fwd:Fwd" emails, have you considered how cool you'll be when you GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS? Cool isn't even the word. ULTRA-Cool. SUPER DUPER-Cool. TOO DARNED COOL TO BE COOL-Cool...Wow, look at you. When you pay us that fiver, you are gonna ooze so much Cool they'll have to defrost your monitor just so you can type!

How To Have Fun at Work

(or how to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace in 19 steps)

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are).
Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, BoBo."
Send an e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
"Hi-light" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive".
Put up mosquito netting around your desk.
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat five raw potatoes.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Send e-mail to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Suggest that carrot juice be put in the soda machine.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN".
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts, etc. in the breakroom, when people complain that there was none...just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Got any others to share? Email Us and we'll add them to the site! And don't forget to GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS!