New Workplace Definitions from Give Us Five Dollars.com

Hey, before you get caught up in this hilarious list we swiped from one of those obnoxious "Fwd:Fwd:Fwd" emails, have you considered how cool you'll be when you GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS? Cool isn't even the word. ULTRA-Cool. SUPER DUPER-Cool. TOO DARNED COOL TO BE COOL-Cool...Wow, look at you. When you pay us that fiver, you are gonna ooze so much Cool they'll have to defrost your monitor just so you can type!

IS IT MALE OR FEMALE?

ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL - female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider... it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Got any others to share? Email Us and we'll add them to the site!